|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| 所以 - 沈祥龙
想到了第一次见到你 你有一种奇怪的魔力 我感觉到了自己偷偷想靠近你 想到了第二次见到你 感觉我并没那么高兴 因为我发现自己和你的距离 这是爱情还是你太美丽 让我作出不可思议的事情 我只知道我要看你开心 我什么都愿意 只要能够靠近你 我只好把我想说的话都放在心里 因为我只想要你开心 我知道我会辛苦也会难过 但我什么都愿意 不在乎狂风暴雨不管你在那里 我知道你和你的男孩有多么的甜蜜所以我 才静静守着你每一次看他紧紧拉着你手我眼泪不停的流也只好默默退后我什么都没说静静忍住痛 想到了第一次见到你 你有一种奇怪的魔力我感觉到了自己偷偷想靠近你 想到了第二次见到你 感觉我并没那么高兴 因为我发现自己和你的距离 这是爱情还是你太美丽 我像是着了迷 只要能够靠近你
as usual i changed a bit the song ... hahhahahahah 1st recording 3rd recording | | |
| 其实我。。。今天太累，和很饿。。。我陪我的兄弟去喝酒，喝啤酒喝到吐出来。他们以为我醉了。其实我比他们还要清醒，只是气太多才弄我吐的。我还很清醒。我以为 酒可以解一点我的心痛，但是。。一点也没有解到。我很累了。是我的错 爱她爱得太深，虽然我痛苦 但是我还想着她，想着她睡得好吗？她吃得饱吗？她今天过得怎样？
是不是我很傻？她已经对我觉请决议，可以放下我的一切我还在想她，怕她过得不好，但是事实她已经没有想到我了。为什么我还是那么痛苦？
我订好的订婚的戒指 要怎样呢？我不可能给别人吧？只是会沉睡 在我的盒子里。我会努力加油 把她忘了吧。我已经解释清楚了，决定是由她来办，如果她还选别人，我也无可奈何啊。
她的错 我可以理解和原谅，虽然我觉得这世界没有那么蠢男人可以接受的错误，我也敢接受，只是她不了解，不明白 我对她是怎样的。她已经盲了，给别人迷惑了，我也无可奈何，未来由她来决定吧，我也会努力 去找我的另外一个半魂吧，虽然我觉得 我不会找到。。。 但是由老天安排吧。我已经很累了，她真的是 错了有错，很理解她的人已经有在她身旁，但是她还冒险 找别的。算了吧。。。我已经很累了。
| | |
| Now i m getting used to the habit without her beside me... yep it still very painful. But I need to stand on the ground n forge myself to be stronger. Cox i keep on thinking ... i will be fine, i will be strong, i m very strong on everything, i can excel in anything, i believe i can find a real person that really love me n accept my everything even i dunno where she is and who is she. Hahahahaha ... N i keep on cheering myself with ... she let me go that mean she willing to kill a guy who really loved her 100% using his everything n a guy who truly understand her inner and outer side, she is the one who willing to take the risk, so she is the one who'd killed someone who really cherish her ... So i no need to worry about her anymore, she cruel to me until the core, she never felt guilty at all after what she did to hurt me (from my side after i calmed down i felt abit sorry i hurt her using my words, but she deserve to be hurt abit after she treated me like a trash), she changed until she not even deserve me at all, y should i care to her anymore? I can't be keep on be a stupid guy like i used to me. I will force myself to improve in everything.
The thoughts made me alot better ... Cox i don't believe i can't find a girl that really love me using their all ... one day i believe I will find her ... She can move on ... so can i move on with these wounds that she left for me 
Today I woke up from my naive dreams, I realized whatever happened to me by now. Even how cruel was she to me ... she will still in my heart, which i m trying to lock it now. Remembered the Hakuna Matata .. It means no worries.... n if the world turn it's back to u ... u must turn ur back back to the world.
She can killed my heart without batting an eye ... she really not deserve me at all, my mom told me a very rough words, i ever told her before ... actually it's about religion, what u did will go back to u  last time i never really take it seriously in my heart, but now ... i really believe this sentence cox the pain i get from her might be i did something really wrong at the past to her. So let the life roll ...
Btw i still wanna know who is the fucker who called me using Private No. He called me again yesterday midnight but this time he didn't say anything... just wait till a while then close the call.
Ok now ... i wanna post a song by Huang Pin Guan Victor, Wo Yi Wei (I think...)
Actually this song is singing from a guy who trying to get a girl who just broke up with her BF, so i changed it to my position which is the BF who'd been dumped and the GF moved on with other guy.
Here it is even abit of wrong intonation or anything, but it's pure classical guitar + my sound, not edited at all
爱。。 是很难解释的东西 。。 但是。。。 恋爱 。。 需要两个不同的人 和不同的心 合在一起。。。 如果有遇到什么 困难 都要一起 处理 。。 如果 。。 有其中一人 觉得 不用去解决 那。。。还在叫着恋爱吗？ 如果不是。。 那。。那叫着什么呢？ 普通朋友吗？还是 好朋友？ 还是逃避的地方吗？虽然 我的 形容方式有一点 幼稚。。 但是。。 我真的这么孩子气吗？如果你认识我 和很了解我的人 你才会明白 我的真正 的 个性 是什么。 很可惜的 是在 。。。 我已经了解 她 那么多，和她也了解我不少， 但是为了 她的想法，脾气，贪心，背叛，无知 就要这样结束。。。 我真的无可奈何 不拾得 也得 放下 。。我也承认 我和她在一起 我已经做得很多儍事 。。。 好像。。和别的女孩 交谈。。 对 对我有感情的女子 冷淡，完全 割掉 她们让她们死心，等等。。。 但是 我到现在 我没有觉得后悔， 应为。。。我所做的 是代表 我是真心对她。 我承认我是很苯，但是我还听得进 别人的劝告,我会自己想我要的是什么。 命运。。你对我太差了 。。。缘分。。你太残忍了吧。。。但是。。 我不放弃。。我会 忍。 忍耐，等待 。。我不信 命运和缘分 会每次玩弄我。虽然我 从小到现在被你们玩弄 得很惨。。。 这次，我醒来后。。我还觉得原来 世界还是那么美好 和完美 。。 虽然 我什么都没了 。。 但是我会 在寻找 我 一直在寻找的。。。 她可以 栓闭 她对我的心，我也可以 割掉 我对她的心，不 管有多痛，多困难 ， 我会学会 好像她那么决心。 我活到现在 这一官 是对我说 是最难的。。。
我们最清楚 我们 是应为什么。。我们很了解 我们俩 都有犯错， 但是 她对我 太残忍了， 为什么 我还那么 傻还期待他呢？ 她犯的错 他完全没有后悔感 。。 当作 我这两年半 爱错人了。 算了吧。。痛也罢，恨也罢，难受也罢。。 我不会在为了她 做那么多的傻事，她这么残忍。。 她完全 不配 在我的身边。最可笑 的是 她一直 说我玩弄她。。但是我们最清楚 谁在玩弄谁。她要怎样讲 随他的便吧。 但是 我们很 清楚 是谁 背叛谁，是谁 玩弄谁。
| | |
| Nothing to do, lazy to go out and do anything ... So ... Hugging my previous wife (my beloved guitar) hohoho ....
so what can i come out with??? Alot of songs in my version .... Feel abit guilty to the composer and the singer ... cox i m polluting there songs with my voice. But who cares?
Singing all the songs using all my emotion ... It's not as good as the original, but well ... singing makes me feel GOOD ... Yeyy ... my recording skill improved, cox i just sing twice and i can record it, yea of course some of it have mistakes inside, but who cares? I will try to save n buy equipments so i can record better, even i m not singer or anything, just count as hobby.
But it's really true if different singer then the songs will be different, and it's also depend on the singer's feeling. So in other words .... Singer = actor ... They know how to manipulate their feeling. But now i m damn good in singing sad songs, but thanks to the sad songs i feel better as well.
Lets tag it here, cox i m too free ... hahhahaha just record for fun.
Yuan Zou Gao Fei (going far apart)
Ai Wo Bie Zou (If love me don't leave me)
Wo Yi Wei (i think... )
Feel wanna compose songs, but ... if i composed songs i afraid i unable to sing it all.
N y the heck i can't delete my account?
| | |
| Actually she gave me the choice i have nothing to choose, cox i really love her so i have to fight a fight that it's very disadvantage for me. Y i say so? cox if she really love me, then why the hell i still need to be like wooing her like the first time?.. it is obviously different. cox to her the guy wooing her would be kinda of fresh n have more chances furthermore it's kinda mysterious cox she dunno him well that's y if she curious she will try with him, for me it's kinda old trick or might be funny. But i still need to try cox i really love her n need her back, even though the answer n the battlefield it's not really give me advantages. I will try my best to give my best and reduce my -ve thinking. I will back to the one I used to be in no time. The choice it's up to her to decide, but she know me well, i won't lie, deceive or cheat her, all in my mind are just for our future n our happiness, that is for sure. I m a kind of guy never back of ... even it's impossible i still wanna try my best.
Ok today i went to c doctor, the doctor advise me to wear masker until my flu n cough better. Then if i go out ... i m like just a walking bomb all the people will staring at me. Hahahaa ... 37.8 degree = fever right? But i know the source of my fever n my flu.
After from clinic i go n bought scratch cards 5 dollars for 5 cards, very funny, buy 5 dollar get 2, from 2 get 10, from 10 get 5, from 5 get 2, from 2 get 5, from 5 get 1, from 1 get nothing. Might be the one who i bought 6 times with was went to lunch that's y i didn't get anymore. Is it consider a lucky? But these small things brighten up my days abit, recently i havn't really laugh like that, cox of these small things i manage to laugh from my heart. I hope i will getting better.
Yesterday night my sis went to my room n saw my Laptop n desktop still putting her pic, n my room still have our sweet memories n pics together. I think she kept all our sweet memories, our memento to somewhere else which she can't see everyday. She asked me "y u still need to torture urself? If she dun wan u, u just move on, u will find better girl than her, I don't believe u can't get any girl. She don't even batted an eye while asking break up after 2.5 years relationship. Y u still hoping her?" I just kept quiet n ask my sis to stop that all. Cox i know well what i made of, not like my sis who dunno me at all. It's not like i dun wan to let go, but the problem is i can't let go. Cox i really love her and how can i love other girls? Someone adviced me before ... Y don't u find back ur close girl's friends whose have feeling with u last time? The problem is ... How can i find them if my heart still in 1 girl? How hurt is it to me? How painful feeling i have? No one would ever describe or compare, a lot of people told me .. Yea she is ur first gf so it will be very painful, but time will heal all ur wounds. I tried to set a mindset to let her go totally, but the more i put the mindset the more painful i gained, so i decided to drop down my pride as a man to try my best to convince her.
I did call my parents to tell them i m not back to my hometown yet. They just asked me what the hell in ur mind? U r so hurt u need time to relax, don't over do it. I just replied them cox i need to work n earn money, my dad scolded me. "Money is not everything, u r our child, u r everything to us ..." I feel abit relieve to heard my dad said that to me. Cox recently i really felt i don't have anyone who care for me n who need me. N my dad told me if i dun wanna go back, he will come as soon as he can leave his business for a while, i m more happy cox my dad really care for me, n it's true there are no PARENTS from this earth that not care, love, n worry about their children. N it's true children are never able to pay back what their parents care to them. I really cherish my parents even according to my love one it's not healthy to have family who living together but acting very weird like mine. Parents are the most important persons in my life beside of my love one, even they very love to talk sarcasticly, politically to me, my bro n sis. Cox i think it's the best to groom their children to have better knowledge in business society. It's also my fault i teaching my love one what i know without letting her notice. Cox i m weak, someday if she really married with me n i m down cox sick or anything, she still have abit of knowledge and able to assit me. I m ego in this part, but i did it for her own good as well, now she can use the way of my thinking to think about something small or big. I m very happy about that cox i m not bad as a teacher hahahahha, but i m sad cox she using it back towards me n she don't even noticed that she have my knowledge. Cox i never use them if not for training her. In my mind i thought it's better to train the one we care n we love better than other people train my love one, cox it will be weird.
Really thanks to my mom n dad i still able to survive until now. Really thanks to my close friends who really give me strength n let me promised things that i wont proceed things that ever come to my mind. Thanks to my knowledge n my religion that i won't do stupid things n ease my feeling while i was really insane. Oh yea ... i will post my pic while wearing mask .... While i wearing mask it's really give me a feeling that i m going to give a surgery to someone. Hahahhaha ... Here are the pics. Look like terorist? Or perverted? Hahahaha
  Ok ... I wanna try to sleep first.... abit sleepy after the medicine ... Hopefully i will have sweet dreams ... Oh ya talking about dreams ... Y i still keep dreaming of her, even nightmare still haver her inside... Mostly are nightmares she asking break up n leave me alone without I ever do or saying something, i hope my night mares gone, in reality i wish that my sweet dreams will happen ... May all the force be with me ... HIZAAATZUUU ... | | |
|
|
